fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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