We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I still have a little drunk in my system
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
