We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
