Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
