i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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