Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
