I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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