So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
