It's Friday. Sex?
too bad you live with your parents still
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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