seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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