Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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