Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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