You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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