My first STD was from a foam party
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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