accomplished twins. life is a go
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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