if only i could text you this smell
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
