seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
