Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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