What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
