i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
