I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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