On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize