What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
