just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
