pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
