Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
