I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
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