yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
