Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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