wrigley field is MILF paradise
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize