Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
