I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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