I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
