We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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