Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
