think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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