Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
