someone get that fucking seahorse.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
