So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
