I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
