yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
