I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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