I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
