Moan for me like Helen Keller
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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