Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
did i walk over a car last night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
