he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
