is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
