I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
