Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize