if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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