Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
