Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
