I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
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