Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize