What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Boobs are out for the taking
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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