Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
