You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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