I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize