the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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