oh fat girl friday strikes again...
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
