so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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