we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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