it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
