the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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