You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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