if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize