"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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