as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
