dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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