whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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