ADVERTISEMENT

• (985): View more from Louisiana

  The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

  Fav 39 4474 885

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Wasn't he an English major?

  Fav 12 1476 5341

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.

  Fav 16 6373 1298

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie

  Fav 14 2228 4226

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store

  Fav 19 5547 1417

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward

  Fav 7 2952 996

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"

  Fav 4 1848 805

  share tweet
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.

  Fav 2 1657 1328

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.

  Fav 2 2214 917

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on

  Fav 2 521 1290

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.

  Fav 0 584 490

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.

  Fav 0 852 512

  share tweet
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!

  Fav 1 525 402

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!

  Fav 2 334 81

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce

  Fav 0 31 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize